Look at that happy couple in the picture, enjoying their youth and total freedom to do as they please. Look at that girl. That’s me. Younger me. The me who was often greeted with questions like ‘isn’t it about time you two had kids? Don’t you want them? How old are you now? 30? *sucks air through teeth while making a face that says ‘oooh, you’re cutting it fine, don’t you know you’re womb is dying?*
I had no trouble conceiving. I have been extremely fortunate (and will remain forever grateful) when it comes to my babies. I waited until I was ready and had my first child, The Bear, at 31 years of age. The Bearded Manc and I had been together for 9 years and married for 3 when our first sprog entered the world. What can I say? We’re slow burners and were busy enjoying rum and indie gigs at Academy 2.
Now, due to the length of time it took us to conceive, it was inevitable that my fertility and status as a ‘female’ would be questioned by those around me. I could never understand what would possess someone to make enquiries about something so personal, so sensitive. Do they really want to get into the nitty-gritty of how me and The Bearded Manc are going to make a baby? Perhaps ‘lady who lives next-door but one’ you would like to come round and watch? You know, to ensure the deed is done. No? Don’t fancy that? Neither do I.
While we’re on the topic of ‘things we don’t fancy doing’…..what if I don’t fancy giving up rum based happy juice and steak for 9 long months (or longer because you will no doubt have a strong opinion on me breastfeeding for as long as possible, only lazy Mum’s formula feed)? *big sigh of despair from me*
What if I’m not ready to experience the ‘ring of fire’ felt by many a Mum whose baby crowned for what seems like hours on end? Or to poo on my babies head in front of a room full of people? Fortunately neither of those things happened, but they could have and put me off the whole ‘human being exiting my parts’ business for quite some time.
More importantly, what if I don’t want children? Might your head explode? I know we are told that women are only put on this earth to procreate but that’s simply not true for all. Some women have other goals, and that’s ok. We need strong women with the courage to buck the trend and carve their own path. *high fives all round*
But forget all of that and think of the girls who have lost babies, who cannot carry them for a plethora of reasons. Women who are walking around with broken hearts and dreams of a family, while trying to keep it all together and go about their daily lives. I doubt they want your nose poking around their womb. It’s a private place where one should only go upon receipt of an invitation. The Golden Ticket. An Access All Areas Pass. If you don’t have that? You ain’t welcome, luv.
In short (or I suppose not so short) whatever your intentions (and they are usually good, I know) if someone wants to discuss future plans for their baby making facilities, they will. If they don’t mention it , there’s probably good reason such as medical issues or it just plain old isn’t any of your blooming business.
Welcome to The Womb. The hottest club in town with the strictest bouncers on the door. If your name ain’t down, you ain’t coming in.