A thousand times, I’m sorry.

A million times, I love you.

I’m sorry for being monosyllabic. I love you.

I’m sorry for not always being patient. I love you.

I’m sorry for what I said when I was tired. I love you.

I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry. I love you.

I’m sorry that I don’t always want to cuddle. I love you.

I’m sorry for what I said when I was on my period. I love you.

I’m sorry for being irrational. I love you.

I’m sorry I didn’t hold your hand. I love you.

I’m sorry for not recognising your tantrum for what it really was and instead punishing you when what you really needed was tenderness. I love you.

I’m sorry I laughed when you fell. I love you.

I’m sorry for ever making you feel stupid when you are anything but. I love you.

I’m sorry for being inconsistent. I love you.

I’m sorry for being too strict at times. I love you.

I’m sorry for being flakey. I love you.

I’m sorry I confused you. I love you.

I’m sorry I scared you. I love you.

I’m sorry I let you go to bed worried about something you did. I love you.

I’m sorry I didn’t understand you and often don’t. I love you.

I’m sorry I was too harsh, I forget how small you are. I love you.

I’m sorry I don’t always remember that you are still learning. I love you.

I’m sorry I don’t always want to answer all your questions. Sometimes I simply don’t have the answer. I love you.

I’m sorry that I sometimes am stand-offish. I love you.

I’m sorry that I can’t give you all of my time. I love you.

I’m sorry for being cruel at times. I love you.

I’m sorry for demeaning you by calling you a ‘baby’, I never meant to do that. I love you.

I’m sorry for being dismissive. I love you.

I’m sorry you saw me cry, that shouldn’t happen. I love you.

I’m sorry I clenched my teeth at you. I love you.

I’m sorry that I can’t always make you understand. I love you.

I’m sorry that I spend too much time on my phone. I love you.

I’m sorry that I’m not braver. I love you.

I’m sorry that I’m neurotic. I love you.

I’m sorry for hiding. I love you.

I’m sorry that I am anxious. I love you.

I’m sorry that I’m not more extrovert, filling your life with friends. I love you.

I’m sorry every time my punishment goes overboard and I can’t seem to reign in the tirade. I love you.

I’m sorry for being overwhelmed. I love you.

I’m sorry for taking things out on you. I love you.

I’m sorry I didn’t have the energy for another game. I love you.

I’m sorry you haven’t been on a plane and are not likely to any time soon. I love you.

I’m sorry that you don’t always see me being nice to Daddy, grown up relationships are hard and that must be confusing for you. I love you.

I’m sorry that I’m tired. I love you.

I’m sorry that I’m a wimp. I love you.

I’m sorry that we’re not always friends. I love you.

I’m sorry for ever making you feel small. I love you.

I’m sorry for ever making you feel ignored or invisible. I love you.

I’m sorry for raising my voice. I love you.

I’m sorry for being dismissive. I love you.

I’m sorry for whispering ‘arsehole’ under my breath when I’m annoyed. I love you.

I’m sorry for being unkind. I love you.

I’m sorry for being irritable and cranky. I love you.

I’m sorry for making you feel like you don’t know where you stand. I love you.

I’m sorry for being impatient. I love you.

I’m sorry that sometimes I’m not mentally present. I love you.

I’m sorry if you ever, even just for a second, feel unwanted or unloved – THAT IS NEVER THE CASE. I love you.

I’m sorry if I don’t show enough affection. I love you.

There are so many things which I have, and will have, to say sorry for in the future. I make so many mistakes and have so many flaws. I’m just a girl, learning how to be a Mummy and it isn’t easy. Some days it’s harder than others and those days are the ones that keep me awake at night.

I’m sorry for being anything less than the Mum I want to be and the Mum that you deserve, my beautiful babies. You are always loved beyond belief.

So I’m sorry. A thousand times I’m sorry. But a million times I love you and there is nothing you can do to change that.

One thought on “

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s