‘Mummy, where are you?’
I hear these words on a regular basis at the moment and usually I’m just a few feet away in the kitchen and haven’t even left the room.
A few days after her second birthday, just a few short weeks ago, Posey went from being very open to a bit clingy, overnight.
‘Mummy, mummy, mummy. Where are you? What are you doing? I coming too. Mummy, no Daddy, no Teddy. I want Mummy. Mummy cuddle’.
It’s all I hear, day in and day out.
Nobody else is good enough.
Nobody else will do.
It doesn’t matter who is with her. If she can’t see me, and sometimes even if she can, she wants to be with me.
I can often be found trying to cook dinner for four with a two year old in my arms, perched on my fortunately large child bearing hips. Or on the loo, with a peeping Tom in the room.
Sounds claustrophobic, right? Occasionally it is. Especially when she’s being not only clingy but grouchy too and just wants me to hold her while she moans at me.
Do you know what though, I don’t mind one little bit. I mean, isn’t that what being a parent is?
It’s my job to make sure my arms are always open to my children, even on the days where they feel less than themselves and aren’t much fun to be around.
When they don’t know what they want and can’t help but be grumpy, it’s my job to take the brunt of it, without judgement.
If one or the other does something out of character, it’s my job to remind them of what the boundaries are and that when they’re ready, I will be waiting.
When they don’t feel good enough, when they push against us, when they behave poorly and hurt themselves or those around them, I will still love them.
A parent is a safety net.
A parent says ‘fall, I’ll catch you’.
A parent says ‘I can see that you’re hurting or afraid, it hurts me to see you this way’.
A parent is both the cotton wool and the champion of bravery.
A parent is the one who will always hold your hand, no matter your age.
So yes, Posey being a bit clingy (she really isn’t that bad) is irritating at times but I’m fully aware that this is exactly the job I signed up for. I know my role, inside and out, back to front.
My child needing a bit more love than usual is not a challenge. It is simply that, a need, like changing a nappy, and there will be many over the years (needs not nappies, hopefully we’ll see the back of those soon). I can only hope that I am the one my children come to when they are in need, great or small.
Many would give everything to have what I have and I am going to soak up every single moment, good and bad, that is offered to me.
I might just need a few glasses of Dutch Courage on occasion.