I didn’t do NCT classes because they weren’t convenient to us at the time, so The Bearded Manc and I hired a private Doula to spend a couple of hours with us at home and go through all the usual things covered by NCT.
Our Doula was great and I was surprised to actually learn a few things. Chiefly, to have a glass of red and some paracetamol once the contractions started. It was the kind of advice I could get on board with although it went out like window as soon as I realised my waters had gone. A glass of red at 7am seemed a bit iffy.
The downside to not attending NCT classes was that we didn’t have a ready made set of friends when Teddy was born but I wasn’t worried about that. I’m ok with my own company and I knew that I could attend baby groups/classes to get a bit of adult interaction and enable Teddy (& subsequently, Posey) the opportunity to mix with other children.
Without my own family anywhere near, it would’ve been nice to have friends around but I was good at getting out and meeting people, even when I was knackered or stressed. However I found that a lot of the baby groups/playgroups were quite cliquey. I went to several where nobody spoke to me but it didn’t put me off. I had everything I needed but I did wonder how other people got on that were struggling, desperately in need of human contact.
With that in mind, I established The Happy Mumdays Club around 18 months ago with an aim to combat peri-natal loneliness, depression and the overwhelming plethora of emotions experienced by Mum’s and Mum’s-To-Be, by creating a supportive village that welcomes ALL kinds of Mum’s. Not just the cool Mum’s.
The Happy Mumdays Club is for Mum’s who breastfeed, bottlefeed, wean early, feed from the jar, get dressed up, dress down, sleep train, let their kids stay up late, have PND, have babies with additional needs or babies in the Sky, those who live in Cheshire and drive a 4×4 or reside in a Women’s shelter. Every Mum is welcome. Every Mum is wanted.
The Happy Mumdays Club motto is #nomumleftbehind and I work hard to put that into practice by including people in conversations, making sure nobody gets left out and responding to private messages from Mum’s who are struggling one way or another. There’s no judgement, only welcoming arms and a willingness to listen.
No matter what the differences may be on paper, when it comes down to it, we are all just doing our best and learning on the job. Nobody is perfect. Mistakes are made. We provide a space that you can talk about them (or not) and alleviate some of the Mum Guilt that we all suffer from.
The Happy Mumdays Club also has a couple of nights out a year. Meeting up with Mum’s sans little ones means you can actually breathe and talk and get to know someone without being totally distracted, constantly.
Getting merry in the process is just a bonus.
Whether it’s day or night, with or without children in tow, our meet ups are light hearted, child friendly and inclusive.
If you’re feeling low, overwhelmed, lonely or just want to get out the house for a bit, come along to The Happy Mumdays Club and take a breath.
They say it takes a village, be part of ours.